Understanding Funeral Choices When You Need to Decide

Understanding Funeral Choices

When You Need to Decide

12th October 2026 by Mears Family Funerals  

When you need to decide on a funeral, the most helpful place to start is with the essentials. A funeral is usually made up of care for the person who has died, the legal and practical arrangements, the ceremony itself, and any choices about burial, cremation, ashes or memorials afterwards. Once those parts are clear, it becomes much easier to choose the right kind of service for your family and your budget.

At Mears Family Funerals, we guide families through these decisions every day. Some people want a traditional church service and burial. Others prefer a simpler cremation, or a more personal farewell with music, readings and a venue that reflects the person’s life. There is no single right choice. The right funeral is the one that fits your wishes, your circumstances and the person you are remembering.

What a funeral includes

Most funerals include a number of core elements, even when the style of service is very simple.

The first part is the care of the person who has died. This includes bringing them into our care, caring for them at our Care Centres, completing the necessary identification procedures, and making arrangements for family visits to the Chapel of Rest if that is wanted. If the death has been referred to the Coroner, timings can be affected, and we explain each step as matters progress.

The second part is the paperwork. In England and Wales, a funeral cannot usually go ahead until the death has been registered and the relevant documents have been issued. Families will often need the death certificate for banks, insurers and Wills & Probate matters, but for the funeral itself the key documents are those that authorise burial or cremation. If cremation is chosen, the crematorium will require the correct medical and statutory forms before a date can be confirmed.

The third part is the funeral service. This may be held at a crematorium chapel, cemetery chapel, church, other faith venue, graveside, or another agreed location. Families usually decide:

• whether the service is religious, non-religious or a mix
• who will lead it, such as a minister, celebrant or family member
• what music, readings or prayers to include
• who will attend and whether notices should be placed
• whether printed sheets or a formal Order of Service are wanted

The fourth part is the final committal. This is either burial or cremation. For burial, families may need to decide between a new grave, where rights are purchased from the cemetery authority, or reopening an existing grave if that is permitted and the paperwork is in order. For cremation, families may wish to choose from different Cremation Caskets and later decide what should happen to the ashes.

After the funeral, there are often further decisions. These can include collecting ashes, choosing Cremation Urns, arranging scattering or interment, selecting Memorials, or considering keepsakes such as Ashes into Glass or Fingerprint Jewellery.

How to choose the right type of funeral

The main types of funerals differ in how much ceremony is included, how much flexibility families have, and which services are part of the arrangement.

A full service funeral is what many people think of first. It usually includes bringing the person into our care, preparing them for the funeral, use of the Chapel of Rest, a hearse, staff on the day, and a service at a crematorium, cemetery or place of worship. This option suits families who want a traditional structure, time for visits, and a formal day for everyone to gather.

A Basic Funeral is a simpler attended funeral. It includes the essential funeral director services needed to arrange and carry out the funeral, but with fewer optional extras. For many families, this provides the balance they want, a respectful service with clear costs and without elements they do not feel are necessary.

A Direct Cremation is different again. This is an unattended cremation, with no service at the crematorium chapel and no mourners present at the committal itself. Families sometimes choose this when the person wanted simplicity, when cost is a major concern, or when they prefer to hold a separate memorial later in their own way. A Direct Cremation can still be followed by a meaningful gathering, whether that is at home, in a hired venue, at a place of worship or at a favourite outdoor location, subject to local rules.

Some families want something more individual. Our Bespoke Funerals are arranged around the person’s life, beliefs and personality. That may mean unusual music, a themed floral tribute, a different route for the cortege, or a Traditional Horse Drawn Funeral. It may also mean combining a quiet private committal with a larger memorial event later.

Where a death has occurred abroad, or where someone needs to be returned to another country, Repatriation becomes part of the funeral planning. This involves additional documentation, liaison with airlines, consulates, receiving funeral directors and authorities in the destination country.

If you are not able to attend in person to make arrangements, we can also help arrange a funeral over the phone, which can be especially helpful when family members live in different places.

What affects funeral costs?

Funeral costs are usually made up of two parts, funeral director charges and third-party fees.

Funeral director charges cover the services we provide directly. These often include collecting and caring for the person who has died, professional guidance and administration, arranging the date and time, liaising with venues and officiants, use of vehicles, and staff attending on the day. The exact amount depends on the type of funeral chosen, such as a full service, Basic Funeral or Direct Cremation, and any optional additions.

Third-party fees are charges paid to others on your behalf. These commonly include:

• crematorium fees
• cemetery fees
• burial plot or grave purchase fees
• church or venue fees
• officiant or celebrant fees
• newspaper notice charges
• flowers, catering or venue hire

These costs vary by area and by provider. A crematorium fee in one part of the country may differ significantly from another. Cemetery charges can also vary depending on whether the person lived within the local authority area, because resident and non-resident fees are often different.

Other choices can affect the total cost as well. These include the coffin selected, limousines, printed Order of Service booklets, floral tributes, memorial masonry, and keepsakes such as Cremation Urns or Fingerprint Jewellery.

We believe clear pricing matters. Families should be able to see what is included, what is optional, and which fees are outside the funeral director’s control. If you are comparing options, it helps to look at the full breakdown rather than the headline figure alone. A lower price may reflect fewer included services, or it may not include disbursements that will still need to be paid.

What happens when arranging a funeral

The process usually begins with first contact, often by telephone, when someone has just died or when the family is ready to make arrangements. We take the essential details, explain the immediate next steps, and arrange to bring the person into our care if that has not already happened.

Next comes the arrangement meeting. This can take place in branch or, in some circumstances, remotely. We discuss whether burial or cremation is preferred, the kind of service wanted, the likely timescales, and any known wishes left by the person who has died. We also talk through practical choices such as the coffin, vehicles, flowers, notices, music and officiant.

If the death has been referred to the Coroner, there may be a delay before the funeral can be confirmed. In England and Wales, this is not unusual, and we keep families updated while waiting for the necessary authority to proceed.

Once the paperwork is in place, we book the venue, confirm the date and time, and coordinate with all third parties. We help prepare the service content, including music, readings and the Order of Service if required. If family members wish to visit before the funeral, we arrange appointments at the Chapel of Rest.

On the day itself, we take care of the agreed arrangements so that the family can focus on being together. That includes the cortege, timing, attendance of staff, and liaison with the crematorium, cemetery or officiant.

After the funeral, there may still be important matters to deal with. These can include collecting ashes, arranging Memorials, setting a date for interment or scattering, and dealing with estate administration and Wills & Probate. Some families also choose a later remembrance event, especially after a Direct Cremation or where relatives from overseas need time to travel.

If you need local support, you can find one of our branches across South East London, North Kent, Aylesbury and Southampton.

Planning ahead and personal wishes

Planning ahead can make a real difference. It gives people the chance to record what matters to them, and it gives families clearer guidance when the time comes.

Some people leave very specific wishes. They may say whether they prefer burial or cremation, whether they want a church service or a non-religious ceremony, and which music should be played. Others focus on practical matters, such as who should be informed, what clothing they would like, or whether donations should be invited instead of flowers.

It can also help to record preferences for Memorials, ashes, notices and keepsakes. For example, someone may want ashes scattered in a particular place, subject to permission, or placed in a family grave. They may want a headstone or cremation memorial later, or something more personal such as Ashes into Glass or Fingerprint Jewellery for close relatives.

For those who want a more distinctive farewell, planning ahead is also the time to note any requests for Bespoke Funerals, a Traditional Horse Drawn Funeral, special vehicles, favourite flowers, or a particular style of Order of Service.

Advance planning is equally useful where international arrangements may be needed. If a person has family overseas, dual nationality, or a wish to be laid to rest in another country, noting those wishes early can make Repatriation arrangements much more straightforward.

We also encourage families to think about the practical papers that should be easy to find, such as a will, details of any funeral plan, and key contacts for Wills & Probate. Even a simple written note can remove uncertainty later.

When the time comes, compassionate guidance matters as much as the arrangements themselves. We are here to explain options clearly, support you at each stage, and help you create a funeral that is right for the person you are remembering. For ideas on remembrance after the funeral, you may also wish to read about ways families mark memories at Christmas.

Click for more information about Planning Ahead with our Expression of Wishes Form.